how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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