I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Acid is not a monday night drug
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
