I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
