ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
