does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
