It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
