I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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