she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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