I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
