its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
