White coat. Heels.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
