i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh god was she eating orange peels again
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I forget how to act sober
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
