fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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