I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
