New low: just hacked my moms facebook
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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