Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
FUCK WHALES
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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