Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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