I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
