If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
is it fun? or sober?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
