OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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