if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
