Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
