WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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