I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
