apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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