I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
