i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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