Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
