I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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