In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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