they need to just BURY HIM!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
