He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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