I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
