brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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