whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
