just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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