I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
