if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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