something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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