so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
