just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
