sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
