am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
