So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
