seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
