Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
