He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
