I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
