BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
