I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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